12/12/12 Auspicious Days

Today is December 12, 2012

12/12/12

Some believe that this date is auspicious, lucky, full of meaning, full of planned weddings, hoped for births, a day of mass meditation and prayer, and some believe it’s just another day on the calendar.

But what's for sure is that it won't be repeated in over a generation. There won't be any other repeating dates like 11/11/11/ or 10/10/10 for 89 years. The next time it happens will be January 1, 2101. Maybe some of us will be here to see the sun rise and/or set on that day, most of us will not. Perhaps, if we are lucky, some of our children, or their children's children, will witness that day.   

According the Mayan calendar this date, 12/12/12 or 12/21/12, is the harbinger of a new era. Not the end of the world,but perhaps a brand new beginning. A new age of peace, a time when human kind can finally decide that we are caretakers of this beautiful planet, and of each other, and that we only really get this one shot.

Reincarnation aside, when we are present in the bodies we are currently inhabiting, this is the only time you get to be the you that you are right now in this body. As Martha Graham said, in one of my favorite quotes of all time, "There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open."  

Perhaps if we can each keep our own channels open, we can benefit from this energy of change that (perhaps) begins today. And even if it doesn't begin by some esoteric numerologic or other mysterious standards, we can certainly decide to begin it all on our own. And perhaps that change can continue throughout this solstice season, through this next era, into the coming of the light, the promise of newness, and of rebirth.

The time of the solstice, the festival of light, the Christmastide, is a time when, whether we realize it or not, we are all quieting our breathing, retreating inward, sowing hopes and dreams and possibilities of something better for the coming of the light half of the year; for our lives, our families, our futures. Even in the depths of darkness, we can know that the light is growing. I hope that on this auspicious date that we are truly being ushered into a new and lasting period of peace and human realization of our Oneness. In this spirit, I can think of nothing that represents the spirit of my child, Theo better than an era of kindness, of goodness and light. That spirit is in us all, the spark of light, the heart of kindness, and the beauty of inspiration. We can be more than we think we are. 

In that spirit, I offer these kindnesses that have been done and that have been shared with me in Theo's honor and in that of others who have gone on.

First Post of this Season: Holding Space

As we prepare for this holiday season, the 7th Christmas without our firstborn child, I struggle again to find the elusive balance between holding the true joy and wonder of the season, which I have always loved, and especially as it is reflected in my four and a half year old daughter's eyes, next to the indescribable ache that fills the gaping space in my heart that will never be full again.

I found this quote yesterday by Iris Murdoch: "Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved."  If this is true, and I know that it is, then why do I keep trying to make other people understand what this is like? What it really is to know, to know, to know, in the marrow of my very bones, the absolute agony of the unalterable fact that, no matter how many years upon this earth I walk and live and breathe, and do all the things that living people do, never at any moment will I feel again the shape and softness of my son's warmth in my arms. I remember exactly what it was like to hold him, to smell the top of his head, to feel the soft fuzz of his hair, to kiss his right temple, whose contour fit the shape of my lips perfectly, the weight of him in my arms, heavier and denser than one would imagine such a small baby to be. Never will I see him walk, hear his voice, or gaze with parental pride, or irritation, or any other emotion a parent feels at any given moment in the life of the child they are charged to watch over and whose precious life they are given to guide and guard. Never will  I see him succeed or fail. Never will I know his friends that may have been, or eventual lovers or spouses, or any grandchildren that might have been.  The gaping canyon of what is forever missing is deeper and  vaster than even I, living with it, can imagine. How can I possibly help others to understand? If I were to sit down and try to list all the things I will forever be missing, it would take months, maybe years. I truly can't begin to imagine how long that list could get. I only know that the  canyon is always there. It's echoes reverberate across the years of my life as they stretch out before me. And with that canyon's presence (and our son's absence), I have also chosen to be as fully present in my life as possible, knowing that I may not always be successful, but still moving toward that fullness of presence--even with Theo's absence. I do that for my husband, for my daughter, my mother, my father, my friends, for all the people whose lives touch mine. Theo's absence, and the grief that fills and flows out of that emptiness, exists alongside all the beauty of life. That beauty of life also includes his existence and the incredible sweetness of his beautiful, painful and all too brief life. Because of that, I must be as fully present as possible.

My own life, my living child's, the life of our family does not exist without that space that he should, and in so many ways, does still occupy. We hold open the space that is left behind by his death, the space that he would have filled, should have filled, but which physically will not, and cannot be filled. That space, Theo's space is still open and here. He is as much a part of our family as we can possibly have him be, without his actually being here with us on this plane of existence. And his space is filled with love. It is as treasured as it is suffered. Because of his absence. Our love for him is so great, that to let it go, if that were even possible (which it isn't), would be even more painful than the grief that we endure daily. And of course, I speak entirely of my own experience. Jamie's experience I believe is similar, but it is entirely his. And our daughter Lula's experience of being without her brother, who is absent, but so very present, is also her own and it will shift and change throughout her life. Nonetheless we share that emptiness in our own individual ways, and as his family, will always hold that space.

Sometimes, for me, the balancing and holding is difficult, so hard, so exhausting, and so protracted, that I wish I could just drop the weight of it, or crawl under a heavy cover and sleep it off. But I cannot. Because for me, even if it were possible to do, this would be to deny my child, and the indelible mark that his short, but extraordinary life left upon me and, I believe, upon the world. So, in the holiday season, which has become in so very many ways, something to be gotten through (as much as I dislike that fact, for me, it is a truth), we try to find ways to make the beauty of our child shine a little bit brighter and further. This Stocking Blog is our way of bringing his light to the particular darkness this season inevitably brings. A way of balancing our grief and sorrow with the very real love and joy that we hold in our hearts.

The first Christmas after his death, we were living in a new house. Somehow, his absence here seemed less painful than his absence from the house we lived in before--where he lived, where the brief "firsts" that we did get to experience occurred, where he lay ill, where we tended and cared for him, and where he died, encircled in our arms. Somehow, even from the moment we walked through the door, this house, new to us that first Christmas without him, this place seemed somehow full of Theo-ness. It seemed like his house too, even though he never physically lived here. I decided that I would put up the tree and decorate the house and the lights and the garland and wreaths, just as I would if he were here. I did it for him, and it felt good and right. But when it came time to hang his stocking, I was suddenly stunned into the realization that on Christmas morning there would be nothing there. His stocking would be empty. Or, we would put things in it that we ourselves would take out, and that we ourselves would use, or give away, or tuck away in a drawer. Theo would not have those treats or sweets or toys that other children would be enjoying from their own stockings. And that thought brought another fracture to my already broken heart.

It was December 21st, the Solstice, that I hung his stocking with such care. Looking at it hanging there, flat and empty, looking exactly like I felt, I decided to ask for help. Asking for help was something I had gotten much more used to learning how to do, and I was getting much better at it. This grieving thing is very difficult to do on your own. I went upstairs and I emailed our family and friends and I asked them for help in filling Theo's stocking. This is what I wrote:

"Sometime between now and Christmas, do something nice for someone, no matter how small or large, it doesn't have to involve money--just commit a random act of kindness. When you do it, think of Theo and dedicate that act to him and his sweet spirit. Please write it down and send it to me through e-mail. I won't read it. I will print it out and put it in his stocking and then on Christmas morning, we will open up all the notes and read them. If even only a few of you do this, we will have a really beautiful thing to share on Christmas in our sweet baby's memory and someone else (the recipient of your kindness) will benefit by a true example of the spirit of Christmas. I will pray that all of us will be struck by inspiration, that something will come to each of us, some kindness that we can share of ourselves, in Theo's name and in his memory, to benefit someone else."

We received so many responses, I was stunned as they came to my inbox daily. They came from all over the United States, many from people we didn't even know, because others had forwarded the email on. We spent the day opening the folded pieces of paper that I had printed and placed inside his stocking as I received them throughout the week. Those messages brought so much comfort to us. Knowing people were thinking of him, that he was not forgotten. That so much goodness was being done in his memory. The third year without him, I made his Stocking Kindnesses public by starting this blog.

You can read the original messages if you like by going back to the archived blog entries to the very beginning on my first post dated Monday December 1, 2008.

This year, the 5th year of Theo's Stocking Blog, our 7th Christmas season without him, I once again extend the invitation, to our friends, our family, the whole world at large, to commit a random act of kindness in honor of our child as well as in honor and memory of someone you love who has died. It is in remembering and honoring them that we continue our relationships with them. And it is how we invite others to share in our love for them.

I wish you a season of warmth, light and love,

Karla

January 2012

I took all my left over swipes from school and bought a bunch of pizzas and went around to places where the homeless gather (the park, down the road from my dorm, ect...) and gave them all pizzas! They were so happy!
---Becca Weiss

The First Week of the New Year

On Christmas Day, I flew from Orlando to Richmond with a stop in Charlotte. While deboarding in Charlotte, I saw a frazzled mother with a very young baby and a clearly "distressed" stroller. I asked her if I could help her figure out the stroller issue. After a bit of finagling, I deemed it fixable but that it would require more TLC than I was able to provide in the middle of an airport. I had plenty of time to my next flight, so I asked her if I could help schlep the stroller and her other bags to her next stop and off we went. Poor thing felt so bad that I was going all the way across the airport when my gate was next door, I responded that the best part of flying on Christmas was meeting nice people along the way. Plus, not only did I get to help the mom out, but I also got to see some pretty decorations and a nice stroll through the airport to work the flying kinks out of my legs. Win-win!
Sending warm thoughts to Theo and you all!

---Anonymous

New Year's Day

I was able to give a big warm hooded sweatshirt to a man who was going door to door asking if anyone had something warm to wear. Baby's Theo's memory will ring in every selfless act I preform, and after I read your wife's blog, every dragonfly I see makes me think of him. Hope your family had a beautiful Christmas.

---Becky Boncal

I know it's after Christmas, but it's important to me that you know that I didn't forget about you or Theo. I had been hemming and hawing about how to honor you both. As a result, two small acts were committed in honor of Theo, Lily (my best friend's daughter) and my father-in-law. The first was a donation made to the American Cancer Society. The other came yesterday. We were supposed to visit Christmas Town last week, but Waylon was sick, hence the delay. Anyway, we went yesterday with an extra ticket in hand. Waylon and I were on the lookout for someone purchasing a ticket so that we could give one, free, to him or her. We found a nice older man and passed it along to him. He was insistent on paying us but we just told him to have a great time and a Happy New Year. It felt great! It also felt great to have my six-year-old involved. He loved it. I suspect Theo and Lily might really like that part since they're so close in age. Anyway, I hope your holidays have been good. Happy New Year Karla!

---Sarah Bristow

The Day After Christmas

A week before Christmas, me and my girlfriend decided to walk to Starbucks for coffee and a bagel for breakfast. As we walked by the coffee building we were stopped by a older man who seemed to be having trouble in his life and homeless as well. He asked for spare change. I told him that I didn't carry any as my girlfriend did too, that we usually carry bank cards only. He asked if I could get him some water, we told him we would see what they had inside. Me and my girlfriend knew that he has had it rough by the looks of his clothes and that it was cold outside and that he was sitting on the sidewalk. He was soft spoken but definitely polite and ended each sentence in "thank you sir." We decided though we couldn't do a lot and we had to get across town that he would enjoy warm food and something good to drink. We came out with a couple of bagels, some cream cheeses, and a couple of apple juices for him to enjoy. He thanked us, even though we knew he seemed to have been through a lot, especially for living on the streets in the cold.
    Me and my girlfriend talked about how we should have done more, but still what we did was helped him out in providing him with food that he didn't have before. We felt good for helping this man out, but bad for what he had to go through for how kind of a person he seemed to be and that no one should have to live in those conditions. Hope this shows to be an act of kindness. We gave something to someone less fortunate. It may not have lasted the day but got him through part. He thanked us even though it may have seemed minimal and I wish we could have done more for him. We do know however that he was thankful. We haven't seen him since and hope he has gotten more help in his situation. Hope this act of kindness shows how helping others matters and that we can always do more.
    Thanks Mr. F., glad to receive this message from you, as others have said that it was a nice surprise to hear from you again this Christmas. You have been a great friend and teacher, and have made me a better and smarter person from knowing you and taking your classes.
    Thanks, and will definitely post next Christmas,
---Bobby Craig

Christmas Night

We went to church last night for children's service and we lit candles in honor of Theo. Theo will never be forgotten. Enjoy the rest of this day.

---Dave and Julie Fueglein, Theo's uncle and aunt, and Theo's cousins Juliet, Olivia and Sophie

HI Karla

I did my Random Act of Kindness yesterday with cards for Beatrix but held Theo in my mind as we entered the store to give me extra strength.

    For some reason I always get nervous, expecting someone to say, “What? No we can’t accept them for some policy reason or something.”

     Ophelia and I walked into the local service station–we waited in line, hoping for the friendly female attendant and then I said, "Can I please leave these with you and you pass them on to whoever you think?" (Really her part in it all is harder than mine picking someone).

     We left two cards each with $20.

     Her response was just what I needed-first total confusion as she was trying to work out what I was doing, then: “Really? That’s just awesome. Thank you so much.”

     I walked out with a little lump in my throat and tears welling.

     This 6th Christmas seemed harder than others- not as hard as the first but not easier as I hope each year it might be. Maybe I just forget the last one and it’s just the same. I know I try to make it happy for the others and I try to enjoy the parts I know are enjoyable. I think those parts are easier- the carols, the family time.

    Wishing you and all your family a peaceful and warm Christmas.

    With Love

    ---Rachel Neumann

Well hello there Mr. F., it's been quite awhile, and I'm surprised I even got this email, but appreciate that I did considering so far in my attendance at VCU you've been one of my favorite teachers ever.

    Now I'm not sure what your boundaries are in the way of random acts of kindness. However, I was back home and went to this house party of this girl, whose and parents were out of town and I didn't know her, but just a few of the people there. Well by the end of the night her parents' house was completely wrecked every which way: beer cans every possible place, trash thrown everywhere, wine and liquor bottles everywhere, alcohol spilt everywhere, even on the walls. However, I had only but one or two beers and had came to realize that this girl didn't realize the mistake she had made by throwing a party in her parents' house; here she was, genuinely nice for allowing such strangers as myself into her parents' lovely suburban home. No one there cared any about this house. I understood how much it'd mean to me for some stranger to actually care and clean up, so from that point on I silently spent the night cleaning up everything mentioned earlier, up until the moment I left without even saying goodbye. 

    I believe kindness can come in many forms and in far from typical methods, at places least expected of it. 

    Take care and happy holidays,

---Rob Borgatti

Christmas Morning

This year, while on my 650 mile road trip from Indy to Mom n Dad's, I pocketed my dragonfly stone, put Theophenomenology in the CD player, and committed as many random acts of kindness as possible. I paid for the car behind me when hitting the drive thru. I called several friends with whom I have lost touch to wish them happy holidays. I called some friends who are likely having a very difficult time this season to say I love you. I put dollars in Salvation Army buckets and quarters in candy dispensers for kids to find. By the time I got to mom and dad's, I felt a sense of joy and peace that I haven't experienced in quite some time. 

    Happy Holidays- I love you guys dearly.

---Pam Powell

Having gone through a traumatic experience a few months ago, I decided not so much to pay it forward but to continue with our traditions of experiencing something different which usually meant food.:-) I started at Thanksgiving this year and am now perfecting the perfect cheesecake. It is something Branch would love. There are so many people I want to thank but sharing a piece of this cheesecake would show his love and appreciation for helping me through this hard time. Next year... pay it forward.

---Lynn Welton

We gave $150 to our church friend's son who is dying with cancer. He is in his forties and there is nothing more the doctors can do.

---Linda and Norman Powell

We donated in Theo's name to the MISS Foundation and to Kara Jones's holiday wish to support the MISS Foundation  in her boys' names, Dakota and Mizuko Star Jones.  

    We also donated to ASK Pediatric Hematology Oncology Clinic  in Richmond in Abbie Waters and in Theo's memories.

---Karla Helbert

Hi there Fueglein family!

Thinking of you all this Christmas :) Hope Theo's stocking is as full as ever!

    This year, we invited my mother-in-law to share our family celebration in Colorado. She lost her husband on December 27 three years ago and it's a very lonely time for her. We decided we wouldn't take no for an answer and booked a plane ticket for her. And guess what? She spent the whole day learning to ski, with the biggest smile on her face.

    I ask your permission to forward your email about Theo's stocking to Patience Salgado, the big heart behind the Kindness Girl blog. She's really incredible and based here in Richmond. I think she might be able to give you some more momentum and also some more good thought.

    Merry Christmas!

---Robyn Jacobs

Today while I was working @ my part-time job @ a retail store, I heard one of my co-workers say that he was unable to buy his wife a Christmas present so I gave him $50 that I myself received as a Christmas present and told him to go buy his wife a gift card to get a pedicure, because I heard that she loves them. I know that he will probably try to pay me back at some point but, I don't expect it, it made me feel good to help.
    Thanx!  I hope you all have an awesome Christmas!

---Anonymous

I went to the nursing home today and was introduced to a fabulous old English professor who sweetly offered me 15 hand written pages of authors and book I should read after he heard I majored in Literary Arts at school. So I read him a couple of poems; he couldn't speak very well but he would point or touch his heart every so often and smile. We also shared the newest issue of the art magazine he received, which he collects and organizes by month in his room.

I know that's not a big thing. But I really enjoyed it.

    Merry Christmas to you!

---Rivanna Youngpool

Mr. F,
Hope everything is going well for you. Merry Christmas to you and your family. You have been my favorite professor at VCU thus far, and I just want to say thank you for all your teachings in FI last year. Below I will share with you my activities today for you to place into Theo's Stocking.
    Today on Christmas Eve, I went to my church, Life Church on Atlee Road in Mechanicsville, VA, at 8am. We departed from the church around 8:20am with a van-full (one of those commercial vans with the 5-row seating) of wrapped presents for kids who attend our church that are less fortunate. About 4 weeks ago, my church put all of these kids' names together and asked each child to write a couple needs that they had as well as a couple wants. Just like an Angel Tree, anyone was able to adopt a child and get what they could for their child.
    So this morning, a married couple in my church who are the main directors of our Outreach programs, along with myself, packed into this van and went to each child's house and delivered their presents. We ended up waking up the first half of these houses since they were still asleep. I took my camera into each house and snapped quite a few pictures, attempting to capture the priceless smiles of joy on their faces. Seeing their happy faces today was truly the best Christmas gift I have ever received in my life. This Christmas is definitely my favorite Christmas yet. We finished all of the houses by noon, and these families and children were so thankful and grateful for what we did as a church family.
    Right after this, my church had an outreach for the homeless in Monroe Park today that they organized with a couple other churches from 2-4pm. We had quite the turnout (in both homeless people and helpers from our church). We handed out bags filled with hygiene supplies, bagged lunches, bottled water, wrapped presents, coats, and cake. Then, we sang Christmas carols and partook in a memorial service right there in the park near one of the trees for the homeless who passed away this year as well as any loved ones that we have had pass away. Unfortunately, I did have a friend, Jyreffe Patrick Clark, pass away last Saturday. He attended my church and was my poetry partner. He died with a Bible in his hand, and as the Child of God he was, I am at peace knowing that he is in Heaven by God's side.
    Perhaps Jyreffe is playing some tunes and reciting poetry to your Theo :)
    Merry Christmas,
---Steven Funes

Christmas Eve, Saturday, December 24th

Merry Christmas in Theo's memory.
Love to you and yours.
I gave $50 to http://tipitinasfoundation.org/
whose mission it is to preserve Louisiana music and culture.

    Much love,
---Carolyn White

In honor of Theo I am praying to be in a state of gratitude. There is so much to be thankful for and it is easy to get off track/distracted by the goings and comings of life. I hope this is in the spirit of what you mean, I have been thinking about what to do and I came up with this idea that for the next two days every thought that is not positive I am going to ask for God to remove and help me to honor Theo's life with gratitude and to say nothing but kind and encouraging words. Your story touches me and moves me in the direction I want my life to mirror one of gratitude and kindness! (Ideally I would live this way all the time but two days would truly be a miracle/gift from God that I could keep my mouth shut and my thoughts on gratitude).

---Anonymous

I found out a young guy I work with has a strained relationship with his family and as a result will be alone for Christmas. I will give him an anonymous gift in Theo's memory. I also plan to visit an elderly shut in to deliver some freshly baked goodies on Christmas day, since she turned down my offer to come to our house for Christmas. Always thinking of you. Lula's Christmas card was a BIG HIT with the girls! So cute! Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.

---Laura Lee Folman

Hi Jamie, Karla, and Lula,

            I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.  I also hope that many wonderful acts of kindness were performed in honor of Theo's memory.  I decided to call our families in Noah's Children to wish them Merry Christmas and to remind them how very special they are when they take such wonderful care of these very special children, such as Theo.  Your child and all the special children of Noah's Children are never forgotten.
            Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!
            Warmly,
---Bob A. Archuleta, MD
Medical Director, Noah's Children

 http://www.noahschildren.com/

I am so glad to have reconnected with you and to read about Theo’s Christmas Stocking Blog. Jamie’s blog entry was so moving I felt compelled to write back. I felt it was so honest, raw and beautiful. Both of you have the ability to find words to express the emotions that only those who have suffered a profound loss of a child can truly comprehend. As always, I am moved to tears and an inner introspection when I read your writing.

            I wanted to share my thoughts with you about what you wrote about how difficult the holidays are for many people. My father’s father passed away at Christmas time when my dad was in high school. As a result, Christmas was always difficult for my father especially since his mom died a few years later. He tried very hard to put on an act for my sister and I. He bought a tree, he bought gifts, he smiled. But my sister and I always knew he was sad. It grew progressively worse over the years and I think also because he mentally associate the holidays with sadness. I was talking with my girlfriends about this a few years ago. I was surprised to find out how many of them struggle with the holidays. Some with alcoholic parents, some with the inability to become pregnant, some having an expectation that the holidays are supposed to be merry and when they are not they are disappointed. I am always amazed at the handful of people I know who truly seem to have the Christmas spirit. My aunt, despite having had multiple miscarriages, losing both of her parents, and having a husband with Crone’s disease, she opens her door on Christmas day with a house in full decor. She makes a thousand cookies and cooks a dinner that would make you cry it is so amazing. And she laughs, she is genuinely happy. I don’t feel that it is an act that she is trying to muster or a day she is trying to “get through”. She embodies that joy. And I find myself envious of her ability to do this.

            I think so much of you and your family and the lives that Theo has touched and continues to touch through both of your writing and Karla with your gift as a therapist. My act of kindness to put in Theo’s stocking is not an ordinary one and I am vowing to do it starting this year. As Yoda says, “Do or do not, there is no try.” But I am going to find the “merry” in Christmas. I am going to do this for my children because I do not want them to remember Christmas with an aura of sadness or to inherit my sense of inability to find the joy. I am going to do this for myself and my friends who struggle with the holidays, as a role model like my aunt who just being in her presence radiates joy. And I will do it for my father who after 45 years of marriage left my mom this year and still seems unable to find peace in his life.

            I was moved by Jamie’s ability while standing in the chaos of the store and the reality that he won't be purchasing an outfit or toy for his 6 year old son, to see the good. To see the joy of the rainbow of children and to know that light will always dispel darkness. And Karla, for you to have the strength to turn this unfathomable loss into a way in which you help others to grieve, to keep breathing, moving forward. And the strength of the bond you two have together is beautiful.

            My gift to you dear Theo is to bring light to my family and others this holiday season. True light and joy, not a fabricated facade of what merry is supposed to be. Your light will always shine on little boy.

            Peace, Love and Light,

            Stacy Chizuk

The Second Day of Winter, Friday Evening, December 23

Today I am sitting in an urgent care office because I slammed my hand in a table yesterday and need an X-ray. A mom, grandma and their almost three year old just came in because the little girl took apart a hair bow with jingle bells on it. She shoved one up each nostril and one in each ear. They got all of them out but one in her nostril. Mom is SO worried I just went up to the desk and asked them to let her go in before me. As I did this I thought "They are going to get this jingle bell out QUICKLY in Theo's name." You can't make this stuff up. :-) There's always a Theo opportunity!

---Michelle Beaubien Witte

 In the grand scheme of things my random act of kindness is miniscule but a good deed nonetheless.

            Today in my travels home I encountered a mother with child on one of my flights who was in need of an aisle seat. I gladly offered her mine in trade for her seat. 

            I would have done this any day and not have mentioned it, but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and respond to your email. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Thank you for being such a wonderful teacher. I can only hope that I encounter more teachers like you in my endeavors at VCU as well as my professional career. Merry Christmas to you and Yours,

 ---Jon Murphy 

We decided to give a homeless man we see every day by our house a gift. My son and I picked out hats, gloves, toiletries and a lunch.
Thank you for reminding us of what's important!

---Sommer Humphries

After reading your email I looked for some opportunities- what a beautiful idea!

So- I put change in the meters of some cars near MCV while I was there

And- I decided that I am waiving a session fee for a private practice client who is struggling financially.

---Camille Adams

 I just donated some money to Kiva.org to support a lady in Peru in her grocery business in Theo’s name.  Since we traveled in Peru this year, it was near and dear to my heart. 

One special story that I have been meaning to tell you… Adam and I were in Austin, Texas in September at the Austin City Limits Music Festival and at our first artist’s show, Brandi Carlile.  She started playing the cover song “Forever Young” and it was this quiet, special moment with just her voice and the piano.  I got the chills and was thinking about all of our loved ones that we have lost too young and right in my field of view of the stage was a beautiful dragonfly.  It was so magical! I just gave him a wink and big smile and said “Thank you Theo!!” That was the only dragonfly I saw all weekend long…amazing!!

            I am always sending love your way.  I hope that you all have a great holiday season, whatever that means for you and I look forward to catching up soon!!

----Anna (Madland) Bender

In memory and honor of all those passed on that I will miss at the holidays..I got two $50.00 gift cards and delivered them to two of our students..one family is living in a motel (with six children) and mom has medical issues.

--- Debra Gibson-Davenport

What a wonderful way to remember your precious son!

We gave $300.00 to a single Mother, who is legally blind with four children for clothes.

We took food for Christmas dinner to Miss Essie. She feeds 20 to 30 elderly in public housing that wouldn't have a meal except for her.

May you be richly blessed this Christmas season!

 ---Anonymous  

Today I left a candy cane on the dash of my brother's car with a note that said "Merry Christmas."

     Merry Christmas to you and your family as well, and thank you for including me in your email list.

---Lydia Armstrong

From Oxfam America Unwrapped, we bought two school uniforms in honor of Thelonius Fueglein. This means that two children in need will always have clean clothes for school. Proceeds from Oxfam America go to efforts to create lasting solutions to poverty, hunger, and injustice. 

---Frank Green and Sally Campbell

Hi Karla, here is my contribution to Theo's Stocking. I organized and made Thanksgiving Dinner for my neighbors. Debra, the mom, has cancer and was not able to make dinner for the family. I did this for Theo, my own mom, and for all those fighting the evil of cancer.

---Carol Schall

We went caroling last night (but because of my voice) this may not be a kind act. My son and I also helped a woman whose car was out of gas. I try to do kind things everyday--as I know you do also.

---Michele Young-Stone

It's just a small thing, but my husband and I spent last evening baking Christmas cookies and having dinner (we took soup and wine) with some friends who just learned that the husband has cancer. They are struggling to maintain some sense of normality this holiday season and I hope that our presence  helped them to enjoy a few moments of the holiday season and to forget their troubles for just a while.
---Lynn Pelco