January 11, 2013

From Alex Kreher:

I hope you had a nice holiday, and a lot of people who thought of Theo! During the Christmas time and beyond I thought a lot about Theo and every time I did something good, I thought of him even more. It felt so good. I gave the change I had in my pockets to a homeless man while I walked pass him, I bought two other homeless people a couple cans of soup and drinks.
Thank you Karla for the kind words on your blog about me, and I really thank you for sharing this story with me and letting me capture it!!
I hope you are doing good and that you both will have a great year!

From Haley Cowan:

a couple weeks ago before i went to my focused inquiry class here in Virginia i meditated and did yoga with crystals to prepare myself for the day.  i carry my crystals  almost everywhere i go.  they are used as reminders for myself to always be mindful and as a reminder to disperse any negative energies that come my way.  the crystals mean a lot to me and i have almost 20 different beautiful ones but i never keep them for too long.  like anything in the world, if you cling onto something then lose it, you will suffer.

          after my focused inquiry class i went to lunch with two of my friends.  in the middle of eating i realized i had forgotten one of the brand new crystals i had taken in the classroom i was just in.  it was a big chunk of calcite that i had just bought with my own money that was surprisingly a little pricey for something that came out of the earth.  running back to the building, i realized that there was another class that came in right after mine so i was thinking about how much i was going to look like a complete freak when i barge in there asking if anyone had seen a large rock sitting on the desk.  

          when i came in and asked, one girl who sat in the seat i was previously sitting in claimed in right away and sounded sad when I came back to retrieve it.  at that moment i decided to just give it to this random person who'd i had never seen or met before because i realized how fixated she had become with it.

          after saying that, i knew that whole class was surprised, i could feel it in the room.  i detached myself from that crystal right at that moment because i noticed how happy she was to now have it.  i hope i gave these students some form of inspiration and reason to not to cling onto everything you own and realize how amazing it is to give someone a little piece of you.

          before and after that time, i have given many people i personally know crystals.  i want to teach people that giving something to someone random gives you the same feeling when giving a gift to someone you know personally.  the feeling of giving is one of the most amazing feelings.  when you detach yourself from things you cling onto and once you lose it doesn't seem so bad.  you start to realize that there is reason why it's not in your possession anymore.  maybe someone else needs it more than you.   

January 8, 2013

From Bre Spain:

For my random act of kindness I used my left over swipes (89) and dining dollars (32) to feed the homeless in Monroe Park. Instead of letting them go to waste since they do not roll over to the next semester, I helped feed the needy and give back to the less fortunate. It was a great feeling.

From David Pandolfe:

I think of you often, and I think of Theo’s Christmas Stocking each year. With regard to acts of kindness, I try to teach my kids that the less fortunate around us on the streets are not invisible or scary. That we can not only stop and open our wallets but we can also say hello and ask how they are doing. I hope my kids learn from the experience. I think they do.

Hope you’re doing well.

Best wishes.

December 31, 2012

From Michaux Dempster:

Jamie,

 Greg and I sometimes foster stray or rescued kittens; after losing one of our own cats to diabetes at the end of the summer, we took in Jackson and Madeline, kittens who had been scheduled to be put down at the Prince Edward animal shelter*. Though we had them fixed and vaccinated, no one adopted them for a long time, and they became part of our family. Our other cats were not as pleased, however, and right before Christmas we put them on the RSPCA rehoming site; within a day, Anna responded. She used the kittens' names to refer to them on my voicemail, and when we spoke I learned that she had lost her two cats of 17 and 19 years this past fall. She was very interested in adopting both of our kittens together, and would take them to live on a farm in the Northern Neck, where there were chickens and a goat, and an acre of land for them to play on. We miss them terribly, but we have now adopted Madison, a one-year-old with a urinary tract condition. He is helping with our loss, and Anna says that Jackson and Madeline made her Christmas very special. I think Theo would approve!

*(the right hand margin of the link)

December 29, 2012

From Pat Tabb:

Hello, Jamie,

So good to hear from you and to have an opportunity to help fill Theo's stocking with lovely "gifts."  My family and I were delighted to honor Theo in delivering a poinsettia to a dear lady in Churchill.  She is in her 90s and seldom leaves home these days.  May God bless her and may He bless you and your family during this season and throughout the New Year.

December 26, 2012

From Jon Heaslet:

Jamie –

One difficulty with my ‘job’ is separating my self from my work.  When I assist someone, is it my job?  Is it what I do?  Is it who I am?

Regardless, it has been a joy for me this month to visit elderly persons who can no longer come to church.  To take gifts to families who otherwise would have precious little under their tree or in their stomachs.  To visit patients in hospitals.  To acknowledge that at this time of year, not everyone is deliriously happy.  There are many tears shed during this month, tears at the memory of an empty chair at their table and an empty place in their heart.

And so I thank you for the encouragement to make something of this month more than adding to the bottom line of retailers.  As Dr. Seuss said, “Maybe Christmas means just a little bit more.”

I’m sorry for the loss of your son, and grateful that his memory is alive and continues to bring joy to you and your family.

In gratitude,

Jon 
Rev. Jonathan L. Heaslet

From Lydia Armstrong:

I've been stretched a little thin this holiday season. I'm working two jobs, and am short on time and extra cash. I racked my brains for the first couple days of receiving this email for what I could do in the limited time I had, and in the end, I decided to keep it simple. I smiled at people and said hello to them. I gave out as many compliments to strangers as I could. I told my mother I loved her. I kept my big mouth shut when the guy at the Kroger customer service desk was short with me. I tried to be as nice to everyone I encountered as I could, and all the while I kept in mind your boy Theo. Merry Christmas, Fueglein Helbert family, and may your holiday season be bright.

From Lakilya "LaLa" Dozier:

My good deed for this month was giving out twenty four meals to the people in Monroe Park during exam week. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas/break.

From Pete Hanley:

This year I had paid for a parking spot on Broad Street, but only used ten minutes of my time. I saw some guys getting out of their car, and scrambling for change, so I gave them the rest of my parking ticket. Thought about Theo's Stocking right after.

Hope you had a good fall semester, and have a merry Christmas and happy holidays.

From Helen McGrath:

Well, for Theo's stocking, I have been taking care of my three older grandchildren while their Mama and Daddy take care of the newest baby and keep the ship floating. I have not whined, complained, told on the kids when they misbehaved or were mean to me. I gave up my place in a cash register line every single time I was in line and gave up close parking spaces to other shoppers. Thank you Theo, I am a better person.

 

From Sara Weaver Lundberg:

Hi Karla!

I wanted to let you know that I volunteered in the infant room for our Christmas Eve service at church in memory of Theo and for Theo's Stocking.

I held and loved on a crying little, cute, chubby baby. I loved it and snuggled him up!!!!

Blessings to you, Karla.

XOXO - Sara, your MISSister.

From Anonymous:

I visited a friend on Christmas Eve who really needed some company. She is struggling to deal with life changes and grief and loss issues of her own. Spending this time was healing for both of us. I also donated to the MISS Foundation in Theo's memory.

I  LOVE YOU. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

From Anna Madland Bender:

For Theo's stocking  this year, I gave complimentary  visits to a family that has been coming in to see me for a long time. They have recently had a large cut in their finances and they couldn't afford chiropractic care. The wife started getting migraines again and the husband was afflicted with Bell's Palsy. Everyone now though is healthy in time for the holidays!

Love you!

Dr. Anna


From Anonymous:

I don't like to talk about the kindnesses that I do in Theo's memory, I feel like somehow it makes it seem more about me than him. I try to keep in mind his spirit, his beauty, his life  and his gift all season, all year. In that, I try to be a little nicer, even when it is really hard for me to be nicer. I try to remember that it's really about love. Love is the law. I let people out in traffic, I leave big tips, I get doors, I carry stuff when people need help carrying things, I tidy up where it needs tidying, I try to make things a little easier for people how ever I can see a place to do so. This year though,  in addition to every day kindnesses, I am  glad to have helped make it possible for two children, 8 & 11, to have a little merrier of a Christmas this year.  I gave a dear friend money to help her children have a little more beauty and magic in their Christmas this year. Their dad is gone, and is not helping,  or even communicating, she is heartbroken and struggling. They deserve a little bit of fun and light. I am glad we could help, even in some small way, to make this season a little brighter.

Thank you Theo.
 

December 23, 2012

 

From Julie Cantrell Williams:

I bought a gas card today at QT and left it on the pump for the next customer to find. ♥ Theo ♥

 

From Anonymous:

My grandson and I spent an afternoon on a bird project. First we put last year's small Christmas tree on the deck and fluffed out the branches. Back inside, we cut a pile of red ribbons just the right length. Then we tied a ribbon around each sprig of millet. When we finished, we took the sprigs outside and tied them on the tree. We cut up suet blocks, tied a ribbon around each chunk and attached the suet on the tree. Within two days birds, and squirrels, had found the treats.

Frrom Katie Walters:

Dear Karla, Jamie, and Lula,

You are an inspiring family. The love, graciousness, and openness with which you live and share your lives touches my heart. The act of kindness I write about in this letter is one that I have a teeny tiny part in, and in some ways started with you, Karla.

I’m not sure if you are still in touch with Q.  

 

(Note from Karla: "Q" is a former young teenage client of mine whose mother died of a brain tumor while I was her therapist. She worked harder than any adult I have ever known to move through her pain in healthy ways, maintain a connection with her mom, and live her life in a way that would make her mom proud).

 

If so, you may already know that she has had trouble with her aunt (who took Q into her home to live when Q'smother died) and has lately been living with her cousin, who is not much older than she is. Q heard another student express worry that, because money is tight at home, his younger brother, who has autism, might not get a Christmas this year. He was already giving his school job earnings to his mom to help pay for gas. Q decided to use the money she earned at school to buy his brother some Christmas presents. I heard about this and asked the vocational teacher how much she had earned so I could match her contribution. Q was very appreciative of this. The plan was for her teacher to take her shopping. However, when Q's aunt heard about the plan, she was touched and decided it showed maturity and a loving heart in her niece. She wanted to take her to do the shopping. We are hopeful this will help to mend their relationship.

On Tuesday, I met Q as she came up the stairs, proudly carrying a wrapped present. She told me all of the cool things she had picked out for the little boy. I made sure to share with Q that her kind and generous actions were inspiring and beautiful.

December 22, 2012

From Cindy:

My friend Jeannie from the MISS Foundation shared your story about your beautiful son.

My son (who was born the same month and year as Theo) had a brain tumor removed from his cerebellum when he was 2.

            I am touched and humbled how strong a parent can be.

            To fill Theo's stocking, I put together a bag of food---Ritz crackers, pull-top canned goods, nutrition bars---and drove to an intersection where there are homeless folks asking for help.

            I handed the bag to an older man. On the frigid night we are having, I hope he retires for the night and gets out of the cold and eats. He replied, 'God bless you, sweetheart.'

            The bag also contained a note: In memory of Baby Theo.

            I also mentioned my son.

            Theo is inspiring the good in people, as I've seen by submissions and 'shares'.

                        Thank you.

From Kristin Reed:

The last couple of years I haven't known what to submit for this, but this year I have a better sense:

            For the last two years I've been facilitating a support group for people who've been incarcerated at OAR in Richmond (a job I owe to Peter Henry, who very kindly recommended me when he was away two summers ago). I normally only see my group members in our weekly meeting, but this year I volunteered at OAR's day long Christmas party, where we served food and offered clients gifts to give their families. I realized that afternoon that one of the men I met with that day lives under the overpass near my home. I see him frequently, actually, though I've never realized he also spends time at OAR. 

            A lot of our clients are homeless, and a day of free food and small items of clothing can make a big impact. Some of the women we work with were so happy to find small gifts for their children that they cried when thanking volunteers. 

            This isn't really "my" act of kindness; it belongs to the staff at OAR who spent an incredible amount of time collecting donations and food for the clients. It was, though, one of the few things I did this year that felt truly in the spirit of the holidays, and as though it might be a nice way to remember your little boy. 

            Happy holidays, and thank you for commemorating him in such a thoughtful manner.

From Daphne Rankin:

Jamie,
Each year, I do an act of kindness in honor of Theo. This year, I'm
doing things differently. My first act of kindness was to give my
favorite waitress and mother of 4 a 200% tip to help pay for
Christmas.
            Then Newtown happened. This year, Theo and I are honoring those 20
children. I am working on a total of 21 acts of kindness.
            I hope you and your dear family have a very joyous holiday season.

From Liz Canfield:

Hi, Jamie!  I sure do miss y'all!  I wanted you to know that Theo's pic and candle are still on my mantle in my house and I lit the candle for him this past weekend and we had a little chat, as we do sometimes.

            I love that you do this, and though I did feed a bunch of meters on Franklin Street today and try to do other silly random acts like that, I just wanted you to know that Theo is still very much in my thoughts and heart, more than I need to be mentioned on the blog.  I will never forget him, our little dragonfly:)

            Much love to you and yours,

                        xoxoxo liz

Documenting Kindness

On this solstice evening, the 7th anniversary of Theo's Christmas Stocking, I want to share a beautiful gift that was given to us. At the end of each semester, Jamie shares Theo's Stocking and the story behind it with his students and invites them to participate by committing their own acts of kindness in honor of Theo and in honor of those they love who have died.

One student this year was inspired to share the story with others in a different way. Alexander Kreher is an amazingly talented artist, photographer and filmmaker and multi-media producer who is currently studying photography and film at VCU. He found a passion for documentary filmmaking during studies at the Salt Institute early this year. Alex asked us if he could come into our home to document the story of Theo’s Stocking in hopes of sharing the Kindness with others. The video below is what he made.

I am so moved and so thankful to him for this beautiful gift. The knowledge that our children live on, that others are thinking of them, remembering them, that their lives continue to matter to others, is a great comfort to bereaved parents. Our greatest fear, now that they are gone, is that others will forget them. Alex’s gift to us is a testament to the beauty of our son and a testament to the ways that his beauty continues to touch others. Thank you Alex.  


                                                   https://vimeo.com/55914097


I would also like to share a link to the MISS Foundation and our Kindness Project.  Kindnesses in our children's memories can be done all year round. And now, MISS Kindness Cards can be downloaded for free for your use.

Remembering them all with Kindness.