I want to start this off by saying that I think your idea for Theo's stocking is brilliant and totally beautiful. I'm sorry that you had to go through something so tragic. My thoughts and warm wishes are with you during this holiday season and I will be inspired forever by your completely creative and positive way of keeping Theo's memory alive.
Here's my good deed: I picked up a Salvation Army angel from the Christmas tree at the Willow Lawn Mall and got a few gifts for a child in need.
Thank you for including me.
Best Wishes & Happy Holidays,
Robin
Hi Jamie and Karla,
Yesterday, I got an angel from the angel tree at Capital One. It was one of many that hadn't been adopted this year. I bought an ipod and new clothes and school supplies for a teenage girl to receive this Christmas.
On Tuesday night, we participated in Caritas, serving dinner to 25 homeless families, and I was in charge of the craft activity. The kids and adults painted Christmas ornament balls and covered them with glitter. Seeing families who have no home certainly made me and Danny and even Christopher, I think, appreciate all that we have this year.
God bless Lula and both of you.
With love,
Michele, Danny, and Chrissy Robin
Friday, December 19, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Story of Daniel and Sean
Through Theo's Stocking, I recently reconnected with a woman I worked with a few years ago. She left our workplace before I was pregnant with Theo and a mutual friend forwarded her this year's Stocking Blog. She contacted me after learning of Theo and our story and told me the story of her two sons who died--years apart from one another. Little Daniel was born and died in 1993. Sean was killed by a drunk driver in 2005.
This is the story she shared with me:
Daniel lived a week at MCV. The first time I was well enough to hold him was three hours before he died. Never had I experienced the deep continuing scalding of mourning.....not even when my Daddy had died 5 years earlier.
Sean was 13 when Daniel was born and died. He was deeply affected by this event. This was before there were groups to help children dealing with death and loss, so I did my best. Even though I felt abandoned by God and very alone and angry about Daniel's dying when I knew in my soul that I was told he would live; I tried to speak words of Faith to Sean. Faith in the goodness and providence of the power of the Universal Truth. I call her "God". I kept telling Sean that if he wanted a relationship with his brother, that he had to be open to Daniel and also reach out to him.
Over the years, Sean talked to Daniel nearly every day. He asked Daniel to speak to him, intervene for him, and help him from the other side. All through college, even, Sean's letters speak of his talking to Daniel. Sean saw Daniel as his guide, protector, and mentor. They became very close.
On June 7, 2005, a 55 year old man with an open gallon of wine between his legs, crossed three lanes of traffic and crashed into Sean and his then six-year-old daughter, Emma. Sean was taking Emma to feed a friend's gerbil. They were about 8 blocks from home. Emma survived her physical injuries.
Sean lived for 11 days in the Neuro ICU at Wake Med. I lived in the ICU waiting room during that time. I could not leave Sean even though he was sedated and not fully conscious. Several late nights or very early mornings his nurse came to the waiting room to ask me to come sing to him. This seemed to calm him and get the blood pressure and ICP where it needed to be. I sang lullaby's and songs that he knew from his early childhood. As I sang, I visualized holding him and rocking him.
There were times when I felt he communicated with me: "I hurt", "I am so thirsty", "I am tired." After 11 days, Sean died of infection. How ironic that the wounds that seemed the threat, were healing and he died of infection. In this miracle age of medicine in one of the finest trauma facilities around, Sean died of infection.
I miss him all day every day, but the relationship he developed with Daniel and my surviving Daniel's death and what I learn and continue to learn from him, have been a comfort. We all feel their presence and know they are still a part of our journey.
It took me two years to hear the answer to my angry cries to "God." "You put in my heart and soul that my baby would live", I cried. Everything I had come to know and believe seemed destroyed. Finally, in the shower one day (there is something about water, isn't there?) I was doing my same crying and I finally heard God's answer: "Your son did live but you are not satisfied with his life. He lived 7 days. That is the time he needed to complete his mission. Your time is not My time."
With everything that happened with our family and what Sean's illness facilitated, I hear the same message. This time it is Sean's voice. "Mom I finally completed what I was sent to do."
Having had a death experience of my own when Daniel was delivered, I know we have much choice in whether or not we cross over. Sean chose to go. I have to give him the freedom to do that just as I had to give Daniel the freedom to leave and become more.
Nothing diminishes my sense of loss and wishing my boys back. My first-born son and my last-born son. It is hard to allow our children to choose their own time and place to evolve.
Maybe I have two sons on the other side because I have a hard time hearing and allowing my life to evolve without my having control. It is a hard position in which to find peace after living with an abusive husband.
The shoulder injury that I sustained while working evolved into nerve damage after surgery. The pain has been debilitating, and removed me further from having any control. I have to rely on much assistance. At the time I had surgery, I was moving to Rockville, VA from the Glen Allen area. I know this is all part of the plan for my life. I am surrounded by the beauty of this earth every day.
Know I love you and your beautiful family. All of you. What a power for good little Theo is.
I have made a donation to Comfort Zone Camp in memory of our boys.
Love,
Helen
Thank you Helen--your story touches me more than you can know.
--Love,
Karla
This is the story she shared with me:
Daniel lived a week at MCV. The first time I was well enough to hold him was three hours before he died. Never had I experienced the deep continuing scalding of mourning.....not even when my Daddy had died 5 years earlier.
Sean was 13 when Daniel was born and died. He was deeply affected by this event. This was before there were groups to help children dealing with death and loss, so I did my best. Even though I felt abandoned by God and very alone and angry about Daniel's dying when I knew in my soul that I was told he would live; I tried to speak words of Faith to Sean. Faith in the goodness and providence of the power of the Universal Truth. I call her "God". I kept telling Sean that if he wanted a relationship with his brother, that he had to be open to Daniel and also reach out to him.
Over the years, Sean talked to Daniel nearly every day. He asked Daniel to speak to him, intervene for him, and help him from the other side. All through college, even, Sean's letters speak of his talking to Daniel. Sean saw Daniel as his guide, protector, and mentor. They became very close.
On June 7, 2005, a 55 year old man with an open gallon of wine between his legs, crossed three lanes of traffic and crashed into Sean and his then six-year-old daughter, Emma. Sean was taking Emma to feed a friend's gerbil. They were about 8 blocks from home. Emma survived her physical injuries.
Sean lived for 11 days in the Neuro ICU at Wake Med. I lived in the ICU waiting room during that time. I could not leave Sean even though he was sedated and not fully conscious. Several late nights or very early mornings his nurse came to the waiting room to ask me to come sing to him. This seemed to calm him and get the blood pressure and ICP where it needed to be. I sang lullaby's and songs that he knew from his early childhood. As I sang, I visualized holding him and rocking him.
There were times when I felt he communicated with me: "I hurt", "I am so thirsty", "I am tired." After 11 days, Sean died of infection. How ironic that the wounds that seemed the threat, were healing and he died of infection. In this miracle age of medicine in one of the finest trauma facilities around, Sean died of infection.
I miss him all day every day, but the relationship he developed with Daniel and my surviving Daniel's death and what I learn and continue to learn from him, have been a comfort. We all feel their presence and know they are still a part of our journey.
It took me two years to hear the answer to my angry cries to "God." "You put in my heart and soul that my baby would live", I cried. Everything I had come to know and believe seemed destroyed. Finally, in the shower one day (there is something about water, isn't there?) I was doing my same crying and I finally heard God's answer: "Your son did live but you are not satisfied with his life. He lived 7 days. That is the time he needed to complete his mission. Your time is not My time."
With everything that happened with our family and what Sean's illness facilitated, I hear the same message. This time it is Sean's voice. "Mom I finally completed what I was sent to do."
Having had a death experience of my own when Daniel was delivered, I know we have much choice in whether or not we cross over. Sean chose to go. I have to give him the freedom to do that just as I had to give Daniel the freedom to leave and become more.
Nothing diminishes my sense of loss and wishing my boys back. My first-born son and my last-born son. It is hard to allow our children to choose their own time and place to evolve.
Maybe I have two sons on the other side because I have a hard time hearing and allowing my life to evolve without my having control. It is a hard position in which to find peace after living with an abusive husband.
The shoulder injury that I sustained while working evolved into nerve damage after surgery. The pain has been debilitating, and removed me further from having any control. I have to rely on much assistance. At the time I had surgery, I was moving to Rockville, VA from the Glen Allen area. I know this is all part of the plan for my life. I am surrounded by the beauty of this earth every day.
Know I love you and your beautiful family. All of you. What a power for good little Theo is.
I have made a donation to Comfort Zone Camp in memory of our boys.
Love,
Helen
Thank you Helen--your story touches me more than you can know.
--Love,
Karla
Another Kindness
This one from Julie A.:
Karla, Jamie & Lula,
I am so glad to participate again this year. I think of Theo often during the year and know in my heart that I am a better person for having known him.
Participating in Theo's Christmas Stocking and honoring Theo's memory at Christmas always warms my heart. This year I decided to take it up a notch and I wanted to do something different. I had received something from Meals on Wheels where you could make a donation and decorate a paper place mat that would be delivered with a holiday meal. I made a donation and decorated the place mat. I colored the place mat in festive colors, drew wreaths, christmas trees and dedicated it to Theo's memory and of course, I had to draw a dragon fly on it. I hope it means a lot to the person who receives it this holiday season.
Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season filled with love and peace.
Much love,
Julie
Karla, Jamie & Lula,
I am so glad to participate again this year. I think of Theo often during the year and know in my heart that I am a better person for having known him.
Participating in Theo's Christmas Stocking and honoring Theo's memory at Christmas always warms my heart. This year I decided to take it up a notch and I wanted to do something different. I had received something from Meals on Wheels where you could make a donation and decorate a paper place mat that would be delivered with a holiday meal. I made a donation and decorated the place mat. I colored the place mat in festive colors, drew wreaths, christmas trees and dedicated it to Theo's memory and of course, I had to draw a dragon fly on it. I hope it means a lot to the person who receives it this holiday season.
Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season filled with love and peace.
Much love,
Julie
Sunday, December 14, 2008
This Good Deed
---was done by Chante
So far this year I have been doing things that may qualify as good deeds. Ever since I can remember my mother and I have donated unwanted toys, clothing, movies, cds, and even furniture to the Salvation Army and Good Samaritan causes. I have been giving a lot of my stuff away since I entered college and do not really have a lot of room for things. This year alone we have filled more than ten bags. I've actually lost count! And we're still filling some bags currently! I think it is better to donate things to those less fortunate than to try to sell them over the internet for a profit. We have a bag full of coats and boots to donate to try to keep people warm this winter season. I have also donated to foundations like the Round up for Kids that JCPenney sometimes does. I have sent almost everyone I know and old friends from highschool Christmas cards. After Christmas my family is going up north to Michigan to visit my grandmother. Ever since my grandfather died a few years ago she has had trouble paying bills and has had her heat and electricity cut off and can barely afford food. We're bringing her and her dog food that should last her and my mom has been sending her money to pay for food and bills. She has been really depressed and I know that it will make her year to have visitors!
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read all these 'letters' and to make us all realize what really matters during the holiday season, helping others and trying to make our world a better place!
Chante`
---this good deed was submitted by Robyn
Jamie, Karla and little Lula,
I have been thinking about your little boy Theo quite a bit since I read about him, and his very important Christmas stocking, yesterday morning. In grief there are indeed opportunities to find something meaningful, something more than all of that other terribly dark and cloudy stuff. But it takes an immeasurable kind of strength to do that. Easier said than done, right? So I am in awe of you as a family...and you should be too!
My father committed suicide in September of last year. So of course I know that whole mess of grief far too well. The circumstances of his death couldn't be more different than your baby boy's. But I want to thank you for reminding me that life and death are tricky things that are hard to contain or understand. And most importantly, thank you for giving me the confidence to choose to keep my fathers presence around during the holidays. Not to keep quiet about him or to pretend everything is the same without him like I think people in life sometimes expect. I will actively think of my father and his life, not his death, because of what you have given me with your story about Theo.
As for my good deed...I went to The Salvation Army Angel Tree and I chose a little boy about your sons age at his last Christmas. I spent a very fun hour or so shopping for that little boy at Target and I spoiled him rotten because I figure all kids deserve that now and then. I thought about Theo and the child who will get those gifts under the tree and I felt pretty damn full of love. I hope you all get some of that love this year too because its wonderful.
Thank you again. Jamie, your writing class was just what I needed for my head to get straight. This made my heart feel better.
Merry Christmas!
Robyn
So far this year I have been doing things that may qualify as good deeds. Ever since I can remember my mother and I have donated unwanted toys, clothing, movies, cds, and even furniture to the Salvation Army and Good Samaritan causes. I have been giving a lot of my stuff away since I entered college and do not really have a lot of room for things. This year alone we have filled more than ten bags. I've actually lost count! And we're still filling some bags currently! I think it is better to donate things to those less fortunate than to try to sell them over the internet for a profit. We have a bag full of coats and boots to donate to try to keep people warm this winter season. I have also donated to foundations like the Round up for Kids that JCPenney sometimes does. I have sent almost everyone I know and old friends from highschool Christmas cards. After Christmas my family is going up north to Michigan to visit my grandmother. Ever since my grandfather died a few years ago she has had trouble paying bills and has had her heat and electricity cut off and can barely afford food. We're bringing her and her dog food that should last her and my mom has been sending her money to pay for food and bills. She has been really depressed and I know that it will make her year to have visitors!
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read all these 'letters' and to make us all realize what really matters during the holiday season, helping others and trying to make our world a better place!
Chante`
---this good deed was submitted by Robyn
Jamie, Karla and little Lula,
I have been thinking about your little boy Theo quite a bit since I read about him, and his very important Christmas stocking, yesterday morning. In grief there are indeed opportunities to find something meaningful, something more than all of that other terribly dark and cloudy stuff. But it takes an immeasurable kind of strength to do that. Easier said than done, right? So I am in awe of you as a family...and you should be too!
My father committed suicide in September of last year. So of course I know that whole mess of grief far too well. The circumstances of his death couldn't be more different than your baby boy's. But I want to thank you for reminding me that life and death are tricky things that are hard to contain or understand. And most importantly, thank you for giving me the confidence to choose to keep my fathers presence around during the holidays. Not to keep quiet about him or to pretend everything is the same without him like I think people in life sometimes expect. I will actively think of my father and his life, not his death, because of what you have given me with your story about Theo.
As for my good deed...I went to The Salvation Army Angel Tree and I chose a little boy about your sons age at his last Christmas. I spent a very fun hour or so shopping for that little boy at Target and I spoiled him rotten because I figure all kids deserve that now and then. I thought about Theo and the child who will get those gifts under the tree and I felt pretty damn full of love. I hope you all get some of that love this year too because its wonderful.
Thank you again. Jamie, your writing class was just what I needed for my head to get straight. This made my heart feel better.
Merry Christmas!
Robyn
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Kindnesses Through the Week
I am thinking back over the week of all the small kindnesses I have seen, heard about, performed and received. I have been talking to my kids at work in our groups for the past several weeks about empathy and have tied in kindness for the past two. After several of them had difficulty last week coming up with ideas for how they could be kind to others, we played Kindness Bingo. As we played, they began talking about all the small things they remembered they had done to help others throughout the week:
W. earned donuts as an incentive for staying on target for his behavior all week and not only shared his donuts with the whole class, but brought in soda to share to go along with them.
L. was given cookies for her birthday last week and chose to share them with everyone in class.
C. gave his snack to a friend in class.
One of the class support staff shared that he pays the toll for the car behind him when he travels.
H. fixed the vacuum cleaner for his housemate and then vacuummed the room for him.
I. went to the store for her grandmother and also babysat for her neice and nephew while her sister went out with her friends.
M. is planning to give his entire paycheck from his part-time job to his mother because he knows that Christmas is hard on her and she has to get things for his little brother and sister.
D. held the door for someone
...........
The Visual Arts Center of Richmond is currently sponsoring a food drive to benefit Richmond's Food Bank. All the state's food banks are in dire need of donations of money and food to keep their shelves stocked for those who do not have enough to eat. Donating non-perishables to one of the many food drives is a wonderful thing to do to help in our own community. Lula and I went to the grocery store to purchase some groceries to donate.
We have also continued our cookie giving project and gave a tin of cookies to the plumber who came to fix our kitchen sink which was clogged this week. Jamie took a tin of cookies to Red when he got his hair cut this week, and also to the Barking Lot when our Lhasa Apso Chloe got her hair cut.
In Costco this week, I struck up a conversation with a woman in line behind me. I noticed that she only had a few things in her basket and asked her to go ahead of me in line. She was very grateful and said that it would help her a lot as she was running late to see a friend. After we payed, I saw that it was pouring rain out and I had left the umbrella in the car. Four people offered to loan me theirs to get to the car, but I declined and decided to wait it out.
We went in to the snack area where Lula was happy to practice picking up and eating Cheerios. While she blinked at the O's sticking to her fingers and amused herself trying to get them into her mouth, an older couple sitting at the table next to us began smiling and laughing at her. It doesn't take much to get her attention and if she thinks she can entertain, she will gladly do so. They began talking and laughing with us and we all had a great time. The husband half of the couple remembered that he had his big golf umbrella at his feet and insisted on walking Lula and me out to the car. The umbrella was big enough to cover her in her car seat, me and him. He also helped me get the items into the trunk while the rain continued to pour, but none of us got wet! I wish I had asked their names, but I guess really, it doesn't matter. It was the kindness that mattered.
Just to share, here is the list of kindness suggestions included in my Kindness Bingo Game:
Bake cookies to share with a friend or neighbor
Be kind to the Earth—Turn off the lights when you leave a room
Give someone you love a hug
Call someone you have not talked to in a while just because
Leave a note for someone you love thanking them for being who they are
Send flowers to someone who touched your life in a positive way
Sit down to eat dinner with your whole family
Be kind to the Earth—Pick up trash when you see it
Give a thank you note to your teacher or support staff (or co-worker, supervisor, etc.)
Tell someone they look nice today (and mean it!)
Volunteer with a charity organization
Take a bag of canned goods to the food bank
Save up some money and give to a worthy cause
Make a family member’s favorite dinner tonight
Hold the door for someone
Offer to do a chore you don’t usually do
Lend a hand to someone you see struggling with a heavy load
Help someone with their bags at the grocery store
Donate a warm coat to Goodwill or Salvation Army
SMILE at 5 people today!
Anonymously Give a Gift
Ask someone how their day was and really listen
Run a race or walk a walk to fund research for a disease
Reach out to elderly or homebound people in your neighborhood
Personally thank someone who does things to keep your school (or workplace) nice
Be kind to the Earth—RECYCLE
Craft for a Cause—Knit or crochet a cap or blanket to donate to a PICU or NICU
Next time you are in a store, thank the person who rings you up and smile
Be kind to the Earth—RE-USE and RE-PURPOSE things instead of throwing them out
Tape the exact change for a drink or snack on a vending machine
Tell someone you are sorry for something you never apologized for
Look for opportunities to help others and then do it!
Volunteer to visit residents in nursing home
If you decide you don’t want something in a store, take it back to the shelf
Be kind to the Earth—Plant something
Make your favorite dessert and share it with someone
Let someone ahead of you in lineSpend some time playing with a child
Give someone the gift of your time
In the drive-thru or toll booth, pay for the person behind you
When someone you know looks upset, ask if they want to talk—and really listen
Next time you ask, “How are you?” Wait to find out how they really are
Write a letter to a friend to tell how they touch your life
Sincerely thank the person who cooks your next meal
Leave chocolate on the desks of your classmates(or co-workers)—Anonymously
Help your parent, spouse, partner, roomate, etc., with something they wouldn’t expect you to
Always say please, thank you and you’re welcome…with a smile
When it is raining, share your umbrella with someone who doesn’t have one
Think of 3 things you are truly grateful for focus on that feeling
W. earned donuts as an incentive for staying on target for his behavior all week and not only shared his donuts with the whole class, but brought in soda to share to go along with them.
L. was given cookies for her birthday last week and chose to share them with everyone in class.
C. gave his snack to a friend in class.
One of the class support staff shared that he pays the toll for the car behind him when he travels.
H. fixed the vacuum cleaner for his housemate and then vacuummed the room for him.
I. went to the store for her grandmother and also babysat for her neice and nephew while her sister went out with her friends.
M. is planning to give his entire paycheck from his part-time job to his mother because he knows that Christmas is hard on her and she has to get things for his little brother and sister.
D. held the door for someone
...........
The Visual Arts Center of Richmond is currently sponsoring a food drive to benefit Richmond's Food Bank. All the state's food banks are in dire need of donations of money and food to keep their shelves stocked for those who do not have enough to eat. Donating non-perishables to one of the many food drives is a wonderful thing to do to help in our own community. Lula and I went to the grocery store to purchase some groceries to donate.
We have also continued our cookie giving project and gave a tin of cookies to the plumber who came to fix our kitchen sink which was clogged this week. Jamie took a tin of cookies to Red when he got his hair cut this week, and also to the Barking Lot when our Lhasa Apso Chloe got her hair cut.
In Costco this week, I struck up a conversation with a woman in line behind me. I noticed that she only had a few things in her basket and asked her to go ahead of me in line. She was very grateful and said that it would help her a lot as she was running late to see a friend. After we payed, I saw that it was pouring rain out and I had left the umbrella in the car. Four people offered to loan me theirs to get to the car, but I declined and decided to wait it out.
We went in to the snack area where Lula was happy to practice picking up and eating Cheerios. While she blinked at the O's sticking to her fingers and amused herself trying to get them into her mouth, an older couple sitting at the table next to us began smiling and laughing at her. It doesn't take much to get her attention and if she thinks she can entertain, she will gladly do so. They began talking and laughing with us and we all had a great time. The husband half of the couple remembered that he had his big golf umbrella at his feet and insisted on walking Lula and me out to the car. The umbrella was big enough to cover her in her car seat, me and him. He also helped me get the items into the trunk while the rain continued to pour, but none of us got wet! I wish I had asked their names, but I guess really, it doesn't matter. It was the kindness that mattered.
Just to share, here is the list of kindness suggestions included in my Kindness Bingo Game:
Bake cookies to share with a friend or neighbor
Be kind to the Earth—Turn off the lights when you leave a room
Give someone you love a hug
Call someone you have not talked to in a while just because
Leave a note for someone you love thanking them for being who they are
Send flowers to someone who touched your life in a positive way
Sit down to eat dinner with your whole family
Be kind to the Earth—Pick up trash when you see it
Give a thank you note to your teacher or support staff (or co-worker, supervisor, etc.)
Tell someone they look nice today (and mean it!)
Volunteer with a charity organization
Take a bag of canned goods to the food bank
Save up some money and give to a worthy cause
Make a family member’s favorite dinner tonight
Hold the door for someone
Offer to do a chore you don’t usually do
Lend a hand to someone you see struggling with a heavy load
Help someone with their bags at the grocery store
Donate a warm coat to Goodwill or Salvation Army
SMILE at 5 people today!
Anonymously Give a Gift
Ask someone how their day was and really listen
Run a race or walk a walk to fund research for a disease
Reach out to elderly or homebound people in your neighborhood
Personally thank someone who does things to keep your school (or workplace) nice
Be kind to the Earth—RECYCLE
Craft for a Cause—Knit or crochet a cap or blanket to donate to a PICU or NICU
Next time you are in a store, thank the person who rings you up and smile
Be kind to the Earth—RE-USE and RE-PURPOSE things instead of throwing them out
Tape the exact change for a drink or snack on a vending machine
Tell someone you are sorry for something you never apologized for
Look for opportunities to help others and then do it!
Volunteer to visit residents in nursing home
If you decide you don’t want something in a store, take it back to the shelf
Be kind to the Earth—Plant something
Make your favorite dessert and share it with someone
Let someone ahead of you in lineSpend some time playing with a child
Give someone the gift of your time
In the drive-thru or toll booth, pay for the person behind you
When someone you know looks upset, ask if they want to talk—and really listen
Next time you ask, “How are you?” Wait to find out how they really are
Write a letter to a friend to tell how they touch your life
Sincerely thank the person who cooks your next meal
Leave chocolate on the desks of your classmates(or co-workers)—Anonymously
Help your parent, spouse, partner, roomate, etc., with something they wouldn’t expect you to
Always say please, thank you and you’re welcome…with a smile
When it is raining, share your umbrella with someone who doesn’t have one
Think of 3 things you are truly grateful for focus on that feeling
Another Anonymous Good Deed Doer
I wanted to share this kind person's comment on the recent post "Anonymous Good Deeds". Thank you, Anonymous, for sharing your thoughts and your wonderful acts of kindness this season. I also want to thank you for sharing your experience of losing your child with us. Please never discount your pain and grief over losing your baby. Your child is your child and will always be in your heart. My thoughts are with you, wherever and whoever you are. Thank you--
From Anonymous:
Thank you for sharing Theo's story with us! My daughter shared it with us, and it really hit home. We are now blessed with five grandchildren; two teens and three small ones (20 mths, and two newborns), but I too know the grief of losing a child even though I never held it in my arms. I felt that child move, but never got to meet him. How much more to hold your baby and have to let go! At this season, your sacrifice brings to mind the greatest sacrifice for us in giving up a son. Jesus. What an 'act of kindness" and love this was!
There are many times in my daily life, that instances occur allowing me to commit these acts of kindness but I don't really think about them in that way. Thank you for making me feel better about what I take for granted as something I need to do.
For Christmas this year I was able to:
#1 - Gift someone with a large Pooh that had been "living" at my house for several months. They were not able to buy something like this for their baby (9Mo), but his first word was "Pooh" and the gift was appropriate. They were delighted!
#2 - Purchase a gift for a child thru the AngelTree Ministry which helps incarcerated prisoners provide a gift for their children.
#3 - Purchase gifts for young men in a drug and alcohol program that aren't able to make it home for the holidays.
As a final thought, there is a new movie that coming out "Seven Pounds" starring Will Smith, that takes on this topic of random acts of kindness. Smith was quoted as saying he hadn't realized how out of touch with "every day things" he had become in his life until it was brought to his attention by his child. It is so fitting that it only takes a child to draw our attention to what is important!
Thank you for sharing, and taking the time to listen to all of us!
From Anonymous:
Thank you for sharing Theo's story with us! My daughter shared it with us, and it really hit home. We are now blessed with five grandchildren; two teens and three small ones (20 mths, and two newborns), but I too know the grief of losing a child even though I never held it in my arms. I felt that child move, but never got to meet him. How much more to hold your baby and have to let go! At this season, your sacrifice brings to mind the greatest sacrifice for us in giving up a son. Jesus. What an 'act of kindness" and love this was!
There are many times in my daily life, that instances occur allowing me to commit these acts of kindness but I don't really think about them in that way. Thank you for making me feel better about what I take for granted as something I need to do.
For Christmas this year I was able to:
#1 - Gift someone with a large Pooh that had been "living" at my house for several months. They were not able to buy something like this for their baby (9Mo), but his first word was "Pooh" and the gift was appropriate. They were delighted!
#2 - Purchase a gift for a child thru the AngelTree Ministry which helps incarcerated prisoners provide a gift for their children.
#3 - Purchase gifts for young men in a drug and alcohol program that aren't able to make it home for the holidays.
As a final thought, there is a new movie that coming out "Seven Pounds" starring Will Smith, that takes on this topic of random acts of kindness. Smith was quoted as saying he hadn't realized how out of touch with "every day things" he had become in his life until it was brought to his attention by his child. It is so fitting that it only takes a child to draw our attention to what is important!
Thank you for sharing, and taking the time to listen to all of us!
Anonymous Good Deeds
For Theo I gave two sacks of food to the local food bank, which is running out of food.
I picked up trash from the street even though people looked at me all funny.
Today I gave my last ten dollars to a family who had less than ten dollars.
I picked up trash from the street even though people looked at me all funny.
Today I gave my last ten dollars to a family who had less than ten dollars.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Kindness of Remembrance
This past weekend, we went to Hollywood Cemetery, an historic cemetery in Richmond, to take part in a Remembrance Ceremony at the Angel of Hope statue.
The statue was conceived by author Richard Paul Evans in his book The Christmas Box. Replicas of her stand in several cities across the country as memorials to children who have died.
The statue at Hollywood Cemetery came to being as a result of the tireless work of Ty Johnson and his wife Andrea whose 8 month old daughter Reagan Makenna died on March 6, 2004 of Shaken Baby Syndrome at the hands of her babysitter. In looking around the internet for an angel memorial stone for his daughter, Ty found the image of the Angel of Hope. The image of the statue stayed with him and after researching the Angel, he contacted Richmond's SCAN--Stop Child Abuse Now--to get help in his efforts to bring a statue to our community. You can read an article published last year about the Johnsons at this link to Richmond.com.
The Angel was dedicated just before Mother's Day, 2006. We were present for that dedication ceremony where we met the Johnsons. Since then, we have visited the Angel many times. Theo is buried 6 hours away from us, in my family's cemetery--a beautiful spot in Wise County on a beautiful mountaintop, and I am comfortable knowing he is buried with family--but it can be difficult not being able to just go to his grave whenever I feel the need. Having the Angel nearby has helped immensely. We visit the Angel statue regularly. In the picture above, you can see the dragonfly stone I painted for Theo in her hand. When we go, there are always other trinkets and notes from other families who visit the statue in memory of their children who have died.
Ty and Andrea have made possible a beautiful memorial not only to sweet Reagan's life, but to all children who have died, and have created in their act of kindness a place for all families to go to honor their children. Each December 6th, the Remembrance Ceremony is held at Angel of Hope statues all over the country. We gather together and speak the names of our children, hug one another, cry together and know that we are not alone in our grief and pain.
Thank you Ty and Andrea for making the Angel of Hope a reality in our community. Your Act of Kindness has done so much to help me and Jamie and, I know, so very many others as well.
--This good deed
...is from Trent
This past week at the cafeteria I saw someone drop a $100 bill. The man didn't even realize it had fell out of his hand. I picked it up and gave it to him. This act of kindness is donated to baby Theo.
...was performed and submitted by Kevin.
I was spending time with my best friend of many years, just relaxing and watching t.v. It soon became apparent to me that my dear friend was in pain, having been suffering from a bladder infection and running a fever for a few days. I quickly jumped to her concern and asked her if she had taken her medicine for the day, and she informed me that she had not, and that the bottle of her pills was in her car, parked some ten blocks away. I immediately offered to go and get it for her, but she strongly refused, insisting that she was fine and that it was too far for me to walk. I settled down, offering her a drink and trying to comfort her. I waited for her to fall asleep, and as she did, I lifted her feet off of my lap, quietly grabbed her keys, and left the room. I walked outside, the time now nearing 2 am in the morning, and the temperature close to freezing. In order to save time, I did not make a trip back to my place, thus leaving me without much to wear for warmth, just a tee shirt and a light jacket. I walked the ten blocks and retrieved the medicine, and as i was on my way back i remembered my friend's almost inability to swallow pills. Usually, some milk and crackers helped wash down the pill and ease her stomach. The nearest 7-Eleven was several blocks out of the way, but I braved the journey none the less. As I returned to her room, almost forty five minutes later and very cold, I awoke her and brought her the bottle and food. She was very tired and entirely unaware of what was going on. She took the medicine, ate a few crackers washed down by milk, and instantly fell back asleep, looking much better than a few hours prior. I kissed her gently of the forehead and let myself out. Being the deep sleeper that she is, I don't think my friend has any recollection of what happened, but I rest easier each time I think of that night, knowing I did my best to ease the pains of my best friend, my satisfaction lying not in recognition, but in the warm smile I see each time we meet.
---this is from Megan
As my good deed, I have introduced many of my friends to my student organization, Chi Alpha. I feel that this is a great deed because most college students do not have a relationship with God, and personally, I believe that it is very important to have a close relationship. My friends have enjoyed coming to Chi Alpha, and I am very blessed that I had the courage to share God with them.
Have a happy holiday.
This past week at the cafeteria I saw someone drop a $100 bill. The man didn't even realize it had fell out of his hand. I picked it up and gave it to him. This act of kindness is donated to baby Theo.
...was performed and submitted by Kevin.
I was spending time with my best friend of many years, just relaxing and watching t.v. It soon became apparent to me that my dear friend was in pain, having been suffering from a bladder infection and running a fever for a few days. I quickly jumped to her concern and asked her if she had taken her medicine for the day, and she informed me that she had not, and that the bottle of her pills was in her car, parked some ten blocks away. I immediately offered to go and get it for her, but she strongly refused, insisting that she was fine and that it was too far for me to walk. I settled down, offering her a drink and trying to comfort her. I waited for her to fall asleep, and as she did, I lifted her feet off of my lap, quietly grabbed her keys, and left the room. I walked outside, the time now nearing 2 am in the morning, and the temperature close to freezing. In order to save time, I did not make a trip back to my place, thus leaving me without much to wear for warmth, just a tee shirt and a light jacket. I walked the ten blocks and retrieved the medicine, and as i was on my way back i remembered my friend's almost inability to swallow pills. Usually, some milk and crackers helped wash down the pill and ease her stomach. The nearest 7-Eleven was several blocks out of the way, but I braved the journey none the less. As I returned to her room, almost forty five minutes later and very cold, I awoke her and brought her the bottle and food. She was very tired and entirely unaware of what was going on. She took the medicine, ate a few crackers washed down by milk, and instantly fell back asleep, looking much better than a few hours prior. I kissed her gently of the forehead and let myself out. Being the deep sleeper that she is, I don't think my friend has any recollection of what happened, but I rest easier each time I think of that night, knowing I did my best to ease the pains of my best friend, my satisfaction lying not in recognition, but in the warm smile I see each time we meet.
---this is from Megan
As my good deed, I have introduced many of my friends to my student organization, Chi Alpha. I feel that this is a great deed because most college students do not have a relationship with God, and personally, I believe that it is very important to have a close relationship. My friends have enjoyed coming to Chi Alpha, and I am very blessed that I had the courage to share God with them.
Have a happy holiday.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Filling the Stocking has begun!
We have begun to receive responses from friends and family and have begun our own filling of Theo's stocking.
We baked cookies all this past Sunday morning and packed them up in tins to take to the staff at VCU's PICU to say thank you to the nurses and staff and let them know how often we still think of them and their amazing work, to try to convey our deep gratitude for how wonderful they were to our sweet boy. The nurses in the VCU/MCV PICU not only do their difficult jobs incredibly well, but are so full of love and compassion. I know they genuinely loved Theo and many of them spent extra time with him in his room, holding him, talking to him. We will never forget their kindness to him and to us.
We got to see one of our favorite nurses, Judy, and she was thrilled to meet Lula. She remembers Theo well and took our gifts of cookies and donuts to share with the rest of the staff. We also got an update on how all our other nurses are doing. It was difficult to go into the PICU, as it has been every time we have gone back, but we feel that it is important to let those wonderful people know that their work does continue to touch the families they work with, long after the children they served have left the PICU.
We also took some cookies to our friend Amy who recently had a baby girl--Welcome to the world little Abby Sue! We took extra so that she could share them with her nurses and visitors or save them all for herself and her husband John.
Other things we have done this week:
The counselors at my workplace adopted an angel from the Angel Tree--a ten year old girl named Joy. We are all contributing to her Christmas gifts.
Our friend Nicole along with two of her friends puts together a wonderful project called The Mother's Gift Circle. They gather donated gifts and wrappings of new and gently used baby items and then get together to make gift bags and packages to deliver to Richmond's Public Health Department. The Dept. runs a program for pregnant teens that focuses on prenatal health care and parenting skills. It has amazing success at keeping the girls in school and at preventing second pregnancies. The gifts are used as incentives to keep the girls in the program and are often the only celebratory elements of the pregnancy.
We have been carefully saving all our gift bags from presents we received for Lula since our baby shower in April as well as collecting items to give. We also added some items that belonged to Theo we never used including a beautiful quilt and several other "boy items". This morning Jamie took a car load of gift wrappings, baby clothes, shoes, blankets and other items to donate to this wonderful organization. Please feel free to email me if you would like more information.
Kindnesses I have received from others this week:
Received 12/1/08
Karla, Jamie and Lula,
Being that I have Theo's picture on a slide show on my desktop, I am reminded of him everyday.
For some reason, I'm always doing something to help folks out. Just this past two weeks, I've picked up trash in the neighborhood, given away non-perishable food items to folks that neededit, gave away clothes to folks that needed and recently bought gifts for two Angels from the Angel Tree.
Today, two of my co-workers and I donated 40 hours of Leave Time to another co-worker whose father is ill and in the hospital. She needed to go to Tennessee to be with him and didn't have the leave time.
I donate this last act of kindness to baby Theo.
Love,
Angel
Received 12/2/08
Dear Karla, Jamie and family,
I feel so lucky to have the children I do. They are so giving, loving, caring, understanding, grateful, etc. and their arms are always open to everyone in need. I couldn't have ask for any better.
I too lost a child--before birth--which I think about often, especially in October when the child was to be born. The loss was at 5 months. I never thought to have anyone expressing that loss with me so I only have the loss within myself.
Knowing you and your family and how you have kept your memories and love alive with others really makes me think and wish that I would have done more to express my feelings of my child even though my child was unborn, it was my child. Of course, this was many years ago, the child would have been 23 now, but I still think about the love I felt. We never even agreed on a name. We didn't even know if he was a he or a she actually.
I like to do things to help others when ever I can just because I know that I have been so lucky to have the most wonderful, beautiful amazing, girls ever and I have the privilege knowing such wonderful people like yourselves that make life worth living.
May God bless and you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Healthy New Year!
Love,
M
Dear M.,
I am honored to share about your baby's life here. I am so sorry that your precious child died and want you to know that I am glad that Theo's life can help you to honor and remember your own baby. No matter how young or old, when our children die, our hearts are left wounded. The wound may heal, but leaves its imprint behind. Sharing your story and that of your baby's life and death is a kindness in itself, as it helps you to heal as well as helps others to better understand how deeply the lives of our children who have died continue to touch us. I hope you will continue to find ways to honor the life of your child and the ways that your life has been touched by that little soul. Thank you.
Sending love and hugs to you---
Karla
We baked cookies all this past Sunday morning and packed them up in tins to take to the staff at VCU's PICU to say thank you to the nurses and staff and let them know how often we still think of them and their amazing work, to try to convey our deep gratitude for how wonderful they were to our sweet boy. The nurses in the VCU/MCV PICU not only do their difficult jobs incredibly well, but are so full of love and compassion. I know they genuinely loved Theo and many of them spent extra time with him in his room, holding him, talking to him. We will never forget their kindness to him and to us.
We got to see one of our favorite nurses, Judy, and she was thrilled to meet Lula. She remembers Theo well and took our gifts of cookies and donuts to share with the rest of the staff. We also got an update on how all our other nurses are doing. It was difficult to go into the PICU, as it has been every time we have gone back, but we feel that it is important to let those wonderful people know that their work does continue to touch the families they work with, long after the children they served have left the PICU.
We also took some cookies to our friend Amy who recently had a baby girl--Welcome to the world little Abby Sue! We took extra so that she could share them with her nurses and visitors or save them all for herself and her husband John.
Other things we have done this week:
The counselors at my workplace adopted an angel from the Angel Tree--a ten year old girl named Joy. We are all contributing to her Christmas gifts.
Our friend Nicole along with two of her friends puts together a wonderful project called The Mother's Gift Circle. They gather donated gifts and wrappings of new and gently used baby items and then get together to make gift bags and packages to deliver to Richmond's Public Health Department. The Dept. runs a program for pregnant teens that focuses on prenatal health care and parenting skills. It has amazing success at keeping the girls in school and at preventing second pregnancies. The gifts are used as incentives to keep the girls in the program and are often the only celebratory elements of the pregnancy.
We have been carefully saving all our gift bags from presents we received for Lula since our baby shower in April as well as collecting items to give. We also added some items that belonged to Theo we never used including a beautiful quilt and several other "boy items". This morning Jamie took a car load of gift wrappings, baby clothes, shoes, blankets and other items to donate to this wonderful organization. Please feel free to email me if you would like more information.
Kindnesses I have received from others this week:
Received 12/1/08
Karla, Jamie and Lula,
Being that I have Theo's picture on a slide show on my desktop, I am reminded of him everyday.
For some reason, I'm always doing something to help folks out. Just this past two weeks, I've picked up trash in the neighborhood, given away non-perishable food items to folks that neededit, gave away clothes to folks that needed and recently bought gifts for two Angels from the Angel Tree.
Today, two of my co-workers and I donated 40 hours of Leave Time to another co-worker whose father is ill and in the hospital. She needed to go to Tennessee to be with him and didn't have the leave time.
I donate this last act of kindness to baby Theo.
Love,
Angel
Received 12/2/08
Dear Karla, Jamie and family,
I feel so lucky to have the children I do. They are so giving, loving, caring, understanding, grateful, etc. and their arms are always open to everyone in need. I couldn't have ask for any better.
I too lost a child--before birth--which I think about often, especially in October when the child was to be born. The loss was at 5 months. I never thought to have anyone expressing that loss with me so I only have the loss within myself.
Knowing you and your family and how you have kept your memories and love alive with others really makes me think and wish that I would have done more to express my feelings of my child even though my child was unborn, it was my child. Of course, this was many years ago, the child would have been 23 now, but I still think about the love I felt. We never even agreed on a name. We didn't even know if he was a he or a she actually.
I like to do things to help others when ever I can just because I know that I have been so lucky to have the most wonderful, beautiful amazing, girls ever and I have the privilege knowing such wonderful people like yourselves that make life worth living.
May God bless and you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Healthy New Year!
Love,
M
Dear M.,
I am honored to share about your baby's life here. I am so sorry that your precious child died and want you to know that I am glad that Theo's life can help you to honor and remember your own baby. No matter how young or old, when our children die, our hearts are left wounded. The wound may heal, but leaves its imprint behind. Sharing your story and that of your baby's life and death is a kindness in itself, as it helps you to heal as well as helps others to better understand how deeply the lives of our children who have died continue to touch us. I hope you will continue to find ways to honor the life of your child and the ways that your life has been touched by that little soul. Thank you.
Sending love and hugs to you---
Karla
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