Inspired by Theo's stocking, I decided to buy a Christmas dress for a little girl, and give it to the Salvation Army. The dress I found was just the kind of thing I would have loved when I was a child, and it had a doll's dress of the same make included, so that whoever received it could dress up a toy as well, and bring it with her to church or dinner, or the back yard, or wherever. I was thrilled.
By the time I'd bought it and shown it to my husband, however, the Salvation Army was closed; we then drove the dress to the Goodwill store, where a confused intake volunteer asked why we were giving such a thing away. When I explained, he became very excited, and assured me that he'd have it out on the floor that night, and that someone would have it by Christmas, for sure.
It made my whole holiday to do this. Thank you, Theo!
---Michaux
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December 2005
Between now and Christmas,do something nice for someone. It doesn't have to involve money, just commit a random act of kindness.
Welcome...
We invite you to remember your loved ones who have died by committing an act of kindness in their honor. Love, kindness, generosity, sharing, these are the gifts we can give to them.
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Our Stocking for Theo
Please join us this season in committing acts of kindness for others, not only in honor of our son Theo, but in memory and honor of your own beloved ones as well. Remembering and honoring those we love who have died should be part of the everyday lives of the living. This is how they go on. It is also how we continue our relationships with them. The holiday season, traditionally a time of giving, provides us so many opportunities to do this.
Sometime between now and Christmas, commit a random act of kindness. It doesn't have to involve money. You can send your kindnesses to Karla at karlamarie@verizon.net, or for Jamie's colleagues and students, to his VCU email account, s2jafueg@vcu.edu. You can also leave a comments directly on the blog with your kindnesses if you like. You can also send a Facebook message to Karla. I will check my requests and inboxes.
We will post your stories of kindness, and your photos, here in Theo's Stocking so that we can all share in the Spirit of Giving and Kindness.
Sometime between now and Christmas, commit a random act of kindness. It doesn't have to involve money. You can send your kindnesses to Karla at karlamarie@verizon.net, or for Jamie's colleagues and students, to his VCU email account, s2jafueg@vcu.edu. You can also leave a comments directly on the blog with your kindnesses if you like. You can also send a Facebook message to Karla. I will check my requests and inboxes.
We will post your stories of kindness, and your photos, here in Theo's Stocking so that we can all share in the Spirit of Giving and Kindness.
Theo with Santa
December 2005
About Us
- ~The Helbert Fueglein Family~
- We have spent many Christmases now without our first-born child. Theo died of a brain tumor on February 20, 2006. He was only 9 months old when he died. Everyone who knew him, who saw him, who spent time with him, knew how special he was. Many people who did not know him, who never met him, also know and have been deeply touched by his life. This blog is meant to honor his contribution to all our lives.
Links of Interest
- The MISS Foundation
- MISS Foundation Selah Carefarm
- The MISS Foundation's Kindness Project--Inspiration for Theo's Stocking
- The Original Baby Theo Blog
- Center for Loss and Trauma
- Surviving the Holidays in the Midst of Grief
- The Wholeness of Grief--article by Karla Helbert
- Noah's Children Pediatric Hospice
- A Theo Celebration Video on You Tube
- Part 2 of A Theo Celebration on You Tube
- Full Circle Grief Center
Quotes
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Normal is someone you don’t know very well.
Anonymous
What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Helen Keller
When you are going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill
Grief is like manure, if you spread it out it fertilizes, if you leave it in a big pile it smells like crap.
Tom Golden, LCSW
Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love.
C.S. Lewis
Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Albert Einstein
Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance.
Richard von Weizsaecker
Who better to softly bind up the wound of one, than he who has suffered the same wound himself?
Thomas Jefferson
An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to remain silent.
Edmund Burke
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power...they are messengers of unspeakable love.
Washington Irving
The conventional explanation, that God sends us the burden because He knows we are strong enough to handle it, has it all wrong. Fate, not God, sends us the problem. When we try to deal with it, we find out that we are not strong. We are weak; we get tired, we get angry, overwhelmed. We begin to wonder how we will ever make it through all the years. But when we reach the limits of our own strength and courage, something unexpected happens. We find reinforcement coming from a source outside of ourselves. And in the knowledge that we are not alone, that God is on our side, we manage to go on.
Rabbi Harold Kushner
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.
Rabindranath Tagore
A traveler can only journey through a dark forest half way before he begins to come out the other side.
Chinese Proverb
The only cure for grief is action.
G.H. Lewes
The risk of love is loss and the price of grief; but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.
Hilary Stanton Zunin
He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it.
Turkish Proverb
The Aramaic word for death translates as: not here, present elsewhere.
P.M.H. Atwater Lh. D
Everybody grieves when someone they love dies. But only people who mourn really heal and move on to live and fully love again….It’s powerful and it’s the only thing that works.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o’er fraught heart and bids it break.
Shakespeare, Macbeth
We are all vulnerable to the unexplored.
Talmud
We are all in this alone. Together.
Lily Tomlin
Grief makes one hour ten.
Shakespeare, King Richard II
Rainer Maria Rilke
Normal is someone you don’t know very well.
Anonymous
What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Helen Keller
When you are going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill
Grief is like manure, if you spread it out it fertilizes, if you leave it in a big pile it smells like crap.
Tom Golden, LCSW
Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love.
C.S. Lewis
Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Albert Einstein
Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance.
Richard von Weizsaecker
Who better to softly bind up the wound of one, than he who has suffered the same wound himself?
Thomas Jefferson
An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to remain silent.
Edmund Burke
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power...they are messengers of unspeakable love.
Washington Irving
The conventional explanation, that God sends us the burden because He knows we are strong enough to handle it, has it all wrong. Fate, not God, sends us the problem. When we try to deal with it, we find out that we are not strong. We are weak; we get tired, we get angry, overwhelmed. We begin to wonder how we will ever make it through all the years. But when we reach the limits of our own strength and courage, something unexpected happens. We find reinforcement coming from a source outside of ourselves. And in the knowledge that we are not alone, that God is on our side, we manage to go on.
Rabbi Harold Kushner
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.
Rabindranath Tagore
A traveler can only journey through a dark forest half way before he begins to come out the other side.
Chinese Proverb
The only cure for grief is action.
G.H. Lewes
The risk of love is loss and the price of grief; but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.
Hilary Stanton Zunin
He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it.
Turkish Proverb
The Aramaic word for death translates as: not here, present elsewhere.
P.M.H. Atwater Lh. D
Everybody grieves when someone they love dies. But only people who mourn really heal and move on to live and fully love again….It’s powerful and it’s the only thing that works.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o’er fraught heart and bids it break.
Shakespeare, Macbeth
We are all vulnerable to the unexplored.
Talmud
We are all in this alone. Together.
Lily Tomlin
Grief makes one hour ten.
Shakespeare, King Richard II
Religion is for people who're afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who've already been there.
Vine Deloria Jr.
When your fear touches someone's pain it becomes pity. When your love touches someone's pain it becomes compassion.
Stephen Levine
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